EP 102 | How making a list of all the things you want in a partner is working against you, not for you
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In today's episode, I'm digging into a recent question from a listener:
Hey Clara! What are your thoughts on a long list of requirements for a partner?
Oooh this is *such* a good one, and while I'm all for getting clarity on what you desire and need in a partner, I find when we start talking lists (and very specific ones), they're not that helpful.
A list can give us a false sense of clarity and control. It can also keep us from the deeper work we're being called to do that will actually lead to change in our romantic status.
This episode will cover:
Why the feeling of making a list about what we desire in a partner feels so good but often has little impact
How having a really tight and restrictive list has less to do with being clear about what you want in a partner and more to do with a fear of getting close to someone of beliefs that you aren't deserving of what you want
How our lists can often be informed by societal or parental conditioning and not our true needs
How there's a greater wisdom, a medicine, so to speak of that which we need in a partner— that can only really be experienced, not written in a list
How to not (too quickly) write off potential partners
How to maintain your standards but remain consistently curious in your pursuit of partnership