EP 107 | On being the girl who never got asked out and *now* desiring a relationship
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This week's episode:
A few weeks back, I was driving through the parking lot of my former middle/high school, when my eyes happened upon a sign for the spring fling dance. I shuddered, flashing back to those lonely middle (and high school) days where upcoming dances brought on so much dread. They really only served as a reminder of all the things I was not: pretty, popular, desirable, dateable. I'd shut down the desire for that thing, and instead, poured myself into my academics, years prior.
This week's episode explores that shared history among token good girls and highlights how that identity is still running the show in our dating and relationship lives — no matter where we find ourselves on the journey or the spectrum.
This episode will resonate if:
You learned early on it wasn't safe — or you weren't one of the girls — to desire a boyfriend
You hid this desire while focusing on your academics and all you could achieve
Good grades and other accolades became your way of securing love, praise and attention
You know you aren't that girl anymore, but you still feel tethered to that identity — it's hard to perceive yourself as desirable. That you're allowed to have partnership.
If you like this episode you might also like:
On the fear of driving someone away by saying how you feel
On not getting asked to the dance and how it's showing up in your love life now
Most dating advice does a great job of making us feel like we're not doing enough