EP 80 | On not getting asked to the dance + how it's showing up in your love life now
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Oooooh adolesence. YEESH. I was recently binging "The Summer I Turned Pretty," and it was giving me all the feels. Namely because. I never had a summer I turned pretty! I just stayed....staying in the identity of being the girl that didn't have the boyfriend, didn't get asked out, wasn't the pretty girl.
I know I'm not alone in this. Client after client tells me of tender stories from middle and high school years of never feeling like the pretty girl, knowing they weren't going to be the ones to be asked out, focusing heavily on their schoolwork and performance in order to individuate, etc etc.
The thing is, those identities that do and don't get formed, can have a significant effect on our dating and relationship patterns and trajectories. In short, the stories are still playing out. It can often be the why behind:
No matches
Never deeply connecting with anyone
Experiencing tremendous anxiety around dating
Fearing you'll never meet someone
If you relate to that young identity and you're not facing obstacles in your dating and relationship life, today's episode is going to be SO clarifying. In it we'll cover:
How these ways we learn to relate to ourselves and the world (at such an impressionable age) have reverberating effects on our future romantic life
How actually then receiving love and praise can land as quite threatening and uncomfortable
How these beliefs we hold about ourselves serve as an invisible barrier to attracting the person we want to meet
How we can go about reversing these ways we view ourselves and start to create comfort, familiarity and safety in adoration, love and praise
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Podcast Production by James Jorge