EP 81 | Why it's so damn hard to build confidence + self trust in dating, relationships + sex (and how we actually go about doing it)

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Recently a listener reach out with the following question:

"Hey Clara — I'm 35 and have never been in a relationship or had sex. I find most content around self confidence and self trust to be over simplified, somewhat condescending, and bordering on toxic positivity. Do you have a way you work through this with your clients?"

The short answer, yes. 

In this episode I dig into:

  • How I help my clients build more self confidence and self trust in the space of dating, sex, and beyond

  • How I help my clients understand why they lack such confidence and trust in these areas — and how those feelings are completely valid

  • How attempting to just build more confidence and build more self trust — especially through social media platitudes — only works against us

  • How validating your lack of self confidence and self trust in these areas is the key to lessening their power

  • How understanding the root of your low confidence and weak self trust will unlock the ways in which you can shift how you feel in these areas

  • How shame plays a role 

  • How to change our internal narratives such that feelings of, "I don't know what I'm doing," "I don't know how to date," "I'm doing it al wrong," become less and less powerful 


Episodes Referenced: What a *Real* Sexual Journey Looks Like

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Podcast Production by James Jorge


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EP 82 | The importance of rupture and repair — a client's story on how they broke up and did the necessary work to get back together

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EP 80 | On not getting asked to the dance + how it's showing up in your love life now