EP 118 | Part I: How Eldest Daughters/Hero Children Struggle in Relationships

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Private Coaching Spaces are Open

Today kicks off a three part, maybe four (lots to discuss!), that goes deep into a subject I broached on Instagram a few weeks back: Eldest daughters/hero children – i.e. the good girls, the rule followers, the helpers, the peacekeepers of the family — and how playing that role impacts our dating and relationship lives.

In today's episode I'm digging into the what and the why:

  • What are the unique struggles of this camp of women — my main client — and why does it matter in our romantic relationships

  • The nature of the hero child and their consistent role of trying to fill in the emotional gaps for the family

  • How you can have a "great childhood" and feel "really loved" but still fall into this category and suffer the consequences

  • Different permutations of what being the "hero child" looks like based on parental and sibling dynamics

  • Why being people pleasers, perfectionists and good girls make relationships such a unique struggle


Books mentioned at top of episode:
Ambition Monster by Jennifer Romolini
Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel
Glynnis Macnicole: I’m Mostly Here to Enjoy Myself, No One Tells You
Catherine Newman: We All Want Impossible Things, Sandwich
Good Material by Dolly Alderton
That Summer by Jennifer Weiner
Old Flame by Molly Prentiss
Carrie Soto is Back by Taylor Jenkins Reid
After I Do by Taylor Jenkins Reid

Links mentioned in this episode:
Unf*ck Your Brain Prenup Podcast Episode
Connect on Instagram
Podcast Production by James Jorge


Previous
Previous

Mini Ep: Why do women who don’t do the work, who are are just as messed up as the rest of us, find great people? Why does it just never happen for me?

Next
Next

EP 117 | How do we know if we're settling? How did I know my husband was the one? Should I do and prenup? A more in this Q+A Episode