Episode 63: How I drastically mitigated my anxious attachment style.
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Nearly a decade ago, on a the heels of life-altering breakup, swimming in self help, I landed upon the book Attached. Like many people, I was eager to take the quiz and find out "What was my attachment style???" But more so, how could knowing this information release me from my pain? I don't think I really needed the quiz to confirm I had an anxious attachment style, but even once it did — it didn't give me much to then do. I was aware, sure, of what was creating a lot of havoc in my dating life, but wtf was I supposed to do with that? How could I start to shift the way I felt?
In the decade since, through both my personal and professional work, I've developed an entirely new way of looking at anxious attachment styles. One that doesn't have us fearing the worst — but actually treating it with compassion and curiosity— and in doing so, taking simple, concrete action that legitimately shift this behavior and nervous system pattern:
This episode will resonate with anyone who:
Suffers from an anxious attachment style and/or codependency (though the two pretty much always go hand in hand!)
Feel like they have all the KNOWLEDGE and AWARENESS but they're still completely blindsided when someone doesn't text back or are terrified to express your needs in a relationship
Feels like they're constantly at the mercy of their anxiety in dating and relationships
Is hungry for a different approach— both in mindset and in action
Books Mentioned:
Attached
Setting Boundaries Will Set You Free
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Podcast Music Credit: James Maldonado